Question
Something To Think About
This was posted on a parenting message board that I frequent and I thought it was a good question for me to ponder today.
Three Little Jewells
Archive for the category “Opinions”
<<So when dh is home he really enjoys the fruit of having his wife stay home with his children.>>
Sermon
I’m bumping this up to the top- It’s so excellent that it deserves it’s own post. I think I’ve listened to this sermon 6 or 7 times now.
Speaking of sermons, I just listened to THIS SERMON (scroll down and choose “March Voddie Baucham”) and like Amy said, “I can’t believe he got away with it!”
(hat tip to Generation Cedar)
“We despise children in the Southern Baptist Convention.”
-Voddie Baucham
Can I say, “AMEN!” to this?!!! In my opinion, EVERY WORD of what he said is TRUE and I admire his courage to say so.
Random Bits- Beach, Birthday…
Savannah Marie, 22 months old. 6/5/2009- We bought this antique school desk for $20 last winter. It’s in the study, fully stocked with paper, crayons, markers and the like. Savannah LOVES to copy her big sister and sit in this desk and color. Look at her little crossed feet and her tiny toes- I know I say it all the time but oh, my- she is so stinkin’ cute!
On My Mind Lately…
1. I am *SO* excited about this summer! The last couple of years we haven’t had much fun.
Summer of 2006- we were selling a house, buying a house, doing major renovations on the new house and, the most devastating thing, we had a miscarriage.
Summer of 2007- Kip’s Mom was dying. She was in the hospital and then hospice from June until she passed away on August 1. I was 7,8,9 months pregnant and home alone 18 hours a day, 7 days a week with a 2 1/2 year old and a 3 1/2 year old. It was pretty terrible. Sweet Savvy was born on 8/13- just 13 days after Kip lost his Mom.
Summer of 2008 was a little better- we didn’t have any tragedies but we just didn’t do much at all. Which was fine- but I’m looking forward to doing more fun things this summer.
This summer we are:
1. Renting a “mountain villa” at Bear Den Campground. I am loving the playgrounds, lake and sandy beach, waterfalls. It looks so fun. One of our vacation days will be spent at Tweetsie Railroad- I’ve never been but Kip says the kids will love the train ride, etc. The rest of the time we are going to putter around the campground and relax.
2. The kids are taking swim lessons at the pool in our town every other week, all summer long. We don’t have a pool and last summer I felt so bad- our kids got to go swimming ONCE between June and August.
3. I think we are going to go to Raccoon Holler for the 4th of July. We had so much fun last year! This year I’m going to enter Nathan in the Watermelon eating contest because that boy loves some watermelon- he ate 10 pieces at lunch on Friday! They also have a dog costume contest, a golf cart parade complete with throwing candy and Santa, a live Bluegrass Concert down by the lake and really good fireworks.
4. We’re renting THIS HOUSE for a week at the beach- this will be our 3rd time there. We’re going to go to Shackelford Shores again this year and Kip wants to go the Maritime Museum in Beaufort. I can’t wait- this was one of our favorite vacations ever.
5. Kip is putting in a fire pit in our backyard so that we can start having campfires and roasting marshmallows at home.
6. There is an ice cream store that just opened up a few minutes from our house- we’ll definitely be doing more “ice cream runs”. (I was going to post the link to this but now I can’t find it. Anyway- what we do is, like any regular night put the kids in their pajamas, brush their teeth, put them to bed. Then we wait 5 or 10 minutes and Kip and I go running up the stairs shouting “HEY! WHO WANTS TO GO GET ICECREAM???” Of course, the kids come tumbling and running out of their beds and off we go. THIS is the kind of thing that they remember as adults and look back on. So.MUCH.FUN.
2. Savannah’s birthday- she’ll be 2 years old!!!- is coming up in August and I haven’t got one clue in the world what to get her. If you’ve got an idea, email me or leave me a note in the comments.
3. I’ve been reading The Sane Woman’s Guide to Raising a Large Family and gleaning quite a few good ideas. (Not that I have a large family- I’ve been reading her blog off and on for several years so decided to get the book)
My favorite idea for a family tradition is to celebrate “half birthdays”. Each kid, on their half birthday (the day 6 months between their last birthday and the next birthday) gets to go out for a special evening with their opposite-sex parent. So, on 7/3 just Nathan and I would go out to dinner and then maybe get ice cream or visit the used book store or the toy store. Kip will take Mary on 8/3 and Savvy on 2/13. We both love this idea and I’ve marked the calender to do this.
4. I just finished “Stepping Heavenward” by Elizabeth Prentiss and loved it. I can’t believe I haven’t read this before. This is definitely a book for underlining and re-reading.
I plan to go back over it with a red pen, maybe this weekend. One thing she suggested was to focus on reading deeply as opposed to widely. To really read and re-read something until the ideas in the book are a part of you. I applied that idea to this sermon (more on that in a minute) and have listened to it three times in the last two days and will probably listen to it a few more times over the coming weekend.
5. Speaking of sermons, I just listened to THIS SERMON (scroll down and choose “March Voddie Baucham”) and like Amy said, “I can’t believe he got away with it!”
(hat tip to Generation Cedar)
“We despise children in the Southern Baptist Convention.”
-Voddie Baucham
Can I say, “AMEN!” to this?!!! In my opinion, EVERY WORD of what he said is TRUE and I admire his courage to say so.
6. This GORGEOUS Red Tailed Hawk and his mate have a nest in our neighbors tree. (picture from Google Images) We see him several times a week. I see at least one of them almost every morning that I go out for a walk. This morning he was in the middle of the road, just sitting there, as I came back up our street. He flew up to a low-hanging branch when he saw me coming. I walked up and stood right under him- we just stared at each other for a minute or two before he flew away. It was neat to get such a good look at him. I *wish* I could see in their nest. I keep meaning to take my binoculars and try to see them some afternoon during naptime.
7. As I was driving into town yesterday, I drove past a small lake and this Great White Egret flew RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY CAR. It was so, so cool. He was just beautiful. (picture from Google Images)
gg
Great Quote by Smith Wigglesworth
The most trying time is the most helpful time. Beloved, if you read the Scriptures you will never find anything about an easy time, and if you are really reconstructed it will be in a hard time. It will not be in a singing meeting, but at a time when you think all things are dried up and that there is no hope for you. Then is the time that God makes the man or woman.
When we are tried by fire, God purges us, takes the dross away, and brings forth the pure gold. Only melted gold is useful. Only moistened clay receives the mold. Only softened wax receives the seal. Only broken, contrite hearts receive the mark as the Potter turns us on his wheel. We must have the stamp of our blessed Lord who was marred more than any other human being. He was truly the Son of God with power, with blessing, with life. He could take the weakest and make them strong.
God is here this morning in power, in blessing, and saying to you, “What is your request?” Oh, he is so precious! He never fails. Jesus is so gentle that he never breaks the bruised reed. He is so rich in his mighty benevolence that he makes the smoking flax to flame. Beloved, let me entreat you to pay any price. Never mind what it costs; it is worth all to have his smile, to have his presence.
-Smith Wigglesworth
Proverbs 17:1
This post by Pursuing Titus 2 is so, so awesome: Proverbs 17:1 for Mothers
Better is a dry morsel, and quietness therewith, than an house full of sacrifices with strife. –Proverbs 17:1
I’ve been using a new Memory Verse System and this is definitely going to be one of my new memory verses! For me and the children!
A few excellent quotes from her article…
This is not a call to mediocrity–far from it. It’s a call to excellence in the things that truly matter, things like that meek and quiet spirit that’s of such great price in God’s eyes (1 Peter 3:4), or just giving my children memories of a happy mother who was delighted to have their help and companionship, who enjoyed working with them.
As is so often the case in the Christian life, attitude trumps accomplishment. We should aspire to do wonderful things with our lives and our homes, but we have to remember to start with hearts and relationships and continually put quietness before lavish sacrifice.
Children and chores
Working Children
(My thoughts on the value of teaching and training your children to work around the home. The question in red below was posted on a parenting forum that I frequent. There was a back-and-forth discussion to this question- I’ve cut and pasted some of my responses below. Please forgive any choppiness to my reply- I didn’t want to rewrite the entire thing and it would have been to long if I had posted the entire give-and-take.
Question: “I’ve heard very differing opinions on this. Some moms feel guilty for making their children do much so the children only do the most basic of chores and the mom does everything else. Other families have the philosophy that the children are to “work us out of a job” and gradually take over running the house. I think I lean more towards feeling guilty so I don’t require much from my children…Should we worry about our children becoming resentful if we require them to do too much?”
My Answer:
You know, my Mom felt “guilty” about asking us kids to help out. She felt like being a SAHM and running the household was “her job” and that school was us kids “job”.
The result? Although my mother can sew quite well, grew the largest garden in our county (not an exaggeration) and canned all her own vegetables, cross-stitched samplers, etc. my sister and I know how to do NONE of this stuff.
I was an ADULT (actually it was only a few years ago!) before I learned that Downy was a fabric softener! I thought it was for washing your delicates! So for years and years I washed all our delicates in Downy. 
I was an adult before I learned how to make my own pie crust or learned how to can. Both times my mother came once to show me and I had to try to take copious notes to help me remember what she said/what to do because she lives 2 hours away. So it’s not as if I had a little trouble getting the crust right or something with the canning process that she could just pop back over and give me a few corrections.
I could go on and on about all the things that I’ve had to learn as an adult that I wished I’d learned as a kid. My Mother didn’t teach us how to cook or how to do laundry or any of those things. Very little was required of us beyond vacuuming, dusting and picking up the dinner dishes. (This is no slam on my Mom- she had a lot on her plate- Dad was gone flying, the gardening, us three kids, taking care of three mentally disabled men for the state- she had a long list of things to do each day and was short on time)
I really want my daughters to enter into adulthood CAPABLE AND CONFIDENT that they know how to run a household. I’d like for them to sew and know how to can. Be experienced at menu planning, grocery shopping and cooking. (I can do all those things very well now but it took me years to get here.)
So, to me, it’s not something that I’ll feel guilty about AT ALL. On the contrary, I’d feel guilty if I DIDN’T take the time to teach and train my daughters how to do these things! My goal is for them to NOT enter marriage feeling like they are starting at square 1, you know? It’s not about “working myself out of a job” so much as teaching and training them to run a household so that they are able to do so very capably when they have their own home. I can’t see that I’d ever be sitting on the couch eating bon bons while my daughters slave over the house. I envision more working along side them, helping them to get that pie crust just right, how to season a roast just so, good organizational techniques, etc.
(Not to leave Nathan out- he’ll learn too but we are mostly focused on him working with his Dad at our family business and learning how to properly run the business.)
I suppose, like all things, it’s a bit of a heart issue? Are you turning over laundry and other housework out of laziness? Are you just going to be sitting on the couch watching soap operas and drinking a Mt. Dew while your kids slave away running the entire house because you’re to lazy to get up? NO- OF COURSE NOT! You’re heart is to train them to do these jobs so that they will be comfortable doing them when they have their own home! I’m always annoyed at these women who fawn over every little thing their kid does with excessive praise- I remember watching the Duggar episode where they were building their house and all the kids age 7 and up had their own cordless drills. I remember thinking- now THAT is self-esteem! Feeling confident and capable because you actually KNOW how to do something and your parents TRUST and BELIEVE that you can do a good job. It’s like Mike Pearl talks about in his article “Jumping Ship”- the importance of making your kids feel like you are all in this together, they’re part of a team and their contributions are VITAL for the success of the family.
For some reason I get the feeling that you think you shouldn’t require the children to do work unless you are working every single second of the day and are stretched to the limit- but see, to me, then the goal of having them do some work is to help you out vs. the goal of training them how to manage a household. Two different things. (not that there is anything wrong with kids helping out a stressed out parent either!)
I’m not running around exercising, doing projects or organizing all the-live-long-day either. It’s really not the point though. The point is to train your children to be able to run a household competently. I have quiet time every day for 1-2 hours. I read or nap or putz on the computer. Every single solitary minute of my day isn’t spent working. But then, you know, when I had a “real job”, I didn’t spend every single second working either. There were down times- bathroom and lunch breaks, chit-chat with a co-worker, etc. Why should it be any different just because we are working from home?
Quote…
Excellent quote about homeschooling by E, owner of Raising Godly Tomatoes.
Why I Homeschool
I know that a lot of people think I’m over-protective and that’s why I homeschool. Or that I’m overly controlling and that’s why I homeschool. They think I’m paranoid that my child will hear a dirty word, or that I’m paranoid that they might want a boy friend or girlfriend. Or they think that my biggest fear is that my kids will get into drugs or sex or some other horrible thing. But no, that’s not really why I homeschool. I homeschool because I don’t want my children to learn to THINK like an unbeliever. I don’t want them to be persuaded toward the secular mindset. I don’t want them to be led astray by the ungodly psychology-based teachings that have now captured the hearts of MOST of our country’s people. We are no longer a “Christian” nation and can no longer trust our school to uphold Christian values and thus teach right thinking. It’s time for us to break away and protect our children from this influence if we possibly can. I am so thankful to God for providing us with the window of opportunity called “homeschooling”.
A guest posting…
This excellent post is by Chautona over at Paradoxology. She very graciously allowed me to post it here. I have my own little anecdote at the end. (I bolded certain parts of the text.)
Do Parents a Favor~
There is nothing (ok, so there is probably something but it feels, at this particular moment as though there is nothing) more insulting than to hear, “It must be nice to have easy kids.”
Let me give you a news flash. I’ve never seen an “easy” kid. Even those who don’t challenge you directly, have their own quirks and problems that result in much work on the part of parents. Just take note, right now, there are no “easy kids”. There might be kids who pull wool over their parents’ eyes, kids who are hard for a time and then easy, kids who are easy for a time and then hard, but every person at some point in their life, must confront their own sinfulness and conquer it and it’s the job of parents to do their part.
But back to insults. There is nothing more frustrating to a parent who has put hundreds or thousands of hours investing in their child, working through character flaws, training in obedience and godliness, only to have that effort tossed in the garbage with a thoughtless, “it must be nice to have easy kids.”
I’ve heard it, and I have friends who have heard it and I guarantee, we all have shortened tongues from where we’ve bitten the ends off trying not to make snarky retorts to the inaccurate and annoying comments of people who have no clue what we go through to “produce” those “easy kids.”
- I’ve put a child’s entire birthday cake/meal back on the shelves and left the store with nothing for a bad attitude.
- A friend has crawled in between bouts of vomiting to deal with a child who refused to obey before crawling back to that toilet.
- Everyone of my babies (except the eldest obviously) has been put down mid-feeding while I dealt with an errant child who thought they could get away with murder while mom was latched to the infant.
- I’ve held fake conversations on the phone, for hours, in order to train my children that it doesn’t matter WHAT I am doing, I will stop any conversation and deal with misbehavior.
- I’ve dragged sobbing children back to stores and made them return stolen items, pay for said items, and leave without said items.
- I’ve spent four hours, at a friend’s house, working with a stubborn toddler, until she obeyed. During pregnancy, while contracting, and wanting nothing but a long nap… for all of us!
- I have a friend who has spent twice that time doing the same thing with her “easy kid”.
I could go on for hours, but the fact is, I don’t have to prove to anyone that my kid is just as sinful as the next. That really isn’t even my point. My point is that when I say, “My kid wouldn’t ever try that in my home,” it isn’t because he wouldn’t have at one point. It is because I worked hard, every day of their lives, from the day they were born until they leaned that mom and dad’s word was like the law of the Medes and the Persians. It will not waver. Yes I failed. Often. I will tell you, however, that I succeeded often enough to make a lasting impression.
Why do people recognize all the work that goes into an exquisite painting, a masterfully played sonata, or a hand stitched quilt but if a child is well behaved, it must be because he’s “easy”. Why do people think that “good kids” just “happen” to run in families? Wouldn’t it make more sense that they’d be sprinkled a bit more evenly through the population?
Do hard working moms everywhere a favor. Next time you see a well behaved child, make a positive comment about the child or their behavior. Please don’t tell the mom how nice it must be to have an “easy child”. It would truly be kinder if you slapped her in the face.
It’s me again….I remember once when Nathan was at the cardiologist for his 2 year (I think) checkup- the cardiologist kept going on and on about how good Nathan was, how he just couldn’t believe that we could have a 2yo that would lie still for an echocardiogram and an EKG without having to be put to sleep, yada yada yada.
So, I said- “thanks, we work really hard at teaching good behavior at home”.
The cardio looked at me and said “oh no, you can’t teach them good behavior this young. He’s just a naturally easy child.”
My word did I just have to restrain myself.
“Listening” vs. “Obeying”, Thanksgiving Craftiness and a Busy Box
I’ve been sitting on this little gem of a post for a while now just waiting until I get annoyed enough to post. Today’s the day!
One of my biggest PET PEEVES is when I hear parents say that their child isn’t “listening”. I’ve got a news flash- he hears you JUST fine. What your child is doing is NOT OBEYING.
He HEARS what you are telling him he just doesn’t WANT to do it so HE’S IGNORING YOU.
It is beyond outrageous to hear someone say “She’s only three, I can’t expect her to listen to me.” Whaaaa? (Thanks, Sarah C.!) Does she “listen” to you when you say “Let’s go get icecream”? Can she “hear” you when you say “Let’s go to the toy store”? Is she able to obey those times? If you say “Susy- go get in your carseat- we’re going to get icecream!” does she run to the car and get in her seat? Common sense would dictate that if the child can “hear” the good things and can choose to obey when it benefits her, that she can “hear” you the rest of the time as well. She has the ability to obey, she is choosing not to. Either these people have a child who is seriously cognitively delayed or my children are brilliant. Because you know what, my 15 month old is able to obey. I can give her a command and she knows EXACTLY what she is being told to do/not do. Sometimes she obeys and sometimes she doesn’t. We’re working on that. But it’s certainly not a question of “does she understand”. She understands juuuuust fine.
Another bit of common sense: Seriously, if you can’t get your three year old to obey, what are you going to do when she’s fifteen? Do you think they just arbitrarily decide to obey at a certain age? Are you counting on being able to reason with them as they get older? What if the child doesn’t like you reasoning? Then what do you do?
Honestly, this is just baffling to me. Why would you not just teach them to be obedient at a young age?
Thanksgiving Craftiness
In an earlier post I mentioned planning for the holidays. Yesterday we did one of the Thanksgiving crafts I had picked out for us to do back in September. Using some cardstock and $1 ink pads from AC Moore, the kids used their fingerprints and thumbprints to make these cute Thanksgiving Turkeys. We made cards that we are mailing to grandparents and some elderly relatives that live in Virginia and New York. We also made place cards for the Thanskgiving table. Here’s some pictures of our handiwork:
Kip traced the kids hands and then they did the coloring to make handprint turkeys.
Mary made these handprint turkeys all by herself.
Busy Box
I mentioned in yesterday’s post about Savannah’s Busy Box. Here it is.
A 10cent pencil box that I got from Wal-Mart on clearance. Filled with odds and ends that we’ve picked up.
A tin that the covers pops on and off, film canisters, a change purse that snaps open, a little zippered bag, a bottle with a cap that twists on and off, two scoops, the hard plastic thing from the inside of a tape roll, straws bent into triangle, a flexi-mouse, a block with a jingle bell in it, a piece of ribbon, and a yellow coin keeper. This is enough stuff to keep her busy for quite a while. Opening and closing things. Hiding the ribbon or the block inside of the different containers and she looks for them, etc.
We Are Called…
This was posted on a message board that I go to by mamalama. Loved it so thought I would share it here.
We Are Called… to bless our husbands, not to bless our sober husbands.
We Are Called… to honor our husbands, not to honor our wise husbands.
We Are Called… to submit to our husbands, not to submit to our tender husbands.
We Are Called… to respect our husbands, not to respect our selfless husbands.
We Are Called… to serve our husbands, not to serve our faithful husbands.
We Are Called… to praise our husbands, not to praise our industrious husbands.
We Are Called… to fellowship with our husbands, not to fellowship with our thoughtful husbands.
We Are Called… to be kind to our husbands, not to be kind to our appreciative husbands.
We Are Called… to love and adore these men that God has united us with, for better or for worse. Our assignment doesn’t change with our husband’s moods or behavior.
