I finally have all of my picture problems fixed so I can start posting again…
Here’s a bunch from springtime…
In April my sister and I took the kids to the Bog Gardens.
Mary walking with Alec.
Here’s Mary’s farm that she built one day when I got out the big tub of blocks.
Painting- I stripped the kids down and got out the paints. We used our regular paints plus we also made our own homemade puffy paint. I should do this more often!
I recently happened upon this blog post and thought I would share with others- read the comments- they’re good too.
Quote: “Amateurs wait for inspiration. The rest of us just get up and go to work.” -Chuck Close
Our Day Today
I’ve got Alec for three days this week so the children have been quite engrossed playing with their all-time favorite big kid. We read We’re Going on a Bear Hunt , The Carrot Seed , and part of one of the stories in James Herriot’s Treasury for Children .
I’m working on my fifth load of laundry for the day- two of our clothes and then I pulled out all of Savannah’s clothes and have been washing them. I’ve separated them into preemie clothes, 0-3 months and whites and have those all finished except the whites. Next I need to wash all the blankets, crib sheets, etc.
During nap time, we ALL napped. 
Once I got the children up, I sent Mary out to play on the deck with Alec while Nathan worked with me in the kitchen. He helped me to bake another batch of Mom’s Banana Oatmeal Chocolate Chip cookies and to empty the dishwasher. He helps put away all of the children’s plates and bowls as well as all of the silverware. Now we’ve switched- Nathan is out on the deck playing pirates with Alec while Mary is in here with me. She’s playing with her toy kitchen, “cooking” me all sorts of fabulous meals while I do this update.
The *PERFECT* doll house
Today I found the PERFECT doll house for Mary. We’ve been searching for a doll house for probably a year now but the really nice ones run in the $500-$600 range for the kit. This does not include assembling the doll house, decorating it or buying furniture for it. You could easily drop $1,000 putting a really nice one together. And even those aren’t exactly what I’m looking for. I wanted something on casters so I could easily move it around, I wanted something with doors so that I could close it off when it wasn’t in use, I wanted a certain number of rooms and a certain size of rooms. I’m certainly not paying that kind of money for something that isn’t exactly what I want. Then, this morning, I was checking one of my favorite blogs, Eyes of Wonder , and saw this most perfect doll house on yesterday’s blog entry. I love the size and number of rooms. I love that it has doors to close it up if you want to. It would be easy to put it up on casters so that it could be moved around. The stained wood won’t get knicked, scratched and dingy the way it would if it was painted. I may go to THIS website to order wall paper, rugs, etc. that are scaled to doll house size. I think Kip could build it in a weekend or two this fall once things have slowed down a bit. It will be our Christmas present for Mary this year.
Banana Oatmeal Chocolate Chip Cookies
If you like banana bread and you like chocolate chip cookies, you’ll love this recipe. It’s a family favorite.
Note: the riper, blacker the banana is, the better! Just break off pieces of the banana and throw it in the mixer.
Mix:
3/4 cup of butter (softened or melted)
1 cup sugar
1 egg
Add:
1 very ripe banana
1 tsp. vanilla
Add:
1 1/2 cups flour
1/2 tsp. baking soda
1/2 tsp. nutmeg
3/4 tsp. cinnamon
1 1/2 cups oatmeal (Quaker Quick Oats)
3/4 of a bag of milk chocolate chips
Bake 10 minutes on greased cookie sheet at 400 degrees.
Update on Judy
Judy is still at hospice and continues to be unresponsive. It has been almost two weeks now since she stopped communicating. She is not in a coma but more of a deep sleep. She does not open her eyes, move or talk. The day nurse has told Kip several times that every morning when she comes on duty she’s surprised to find that Judy is still there.
Kid Funnies
So, Mary has had a lot to say lately.
1. We were at hospice visiting Judy two weekends ago. I was taking Mary for a walk around the building to keep her busy and as we approached Judy’s room, Mary saw a nurse standing outside the door. She marched herself right up to the nurse and with great conviction said:
Mary: Hi! What’s your name?
Nurse: Jane. What’s your name?
Mary: My name is Madison. My Nana not feel well! You need to help her!
2. You know how kids will sometime say something to an adult and then you don’t respond immediately because you’re trying to decipher exactly what it is that the child said?
Mary: Something unintelligible. We think she was trying to tell Kip one of her knock-knock jokes.
Kip: Pausing to figure out what she said before he responds.
Mary: Come on Dad! Work with me!
3. On Saturday Kip stayed home with the children while I went out and had a little time to myself. I bought the Harry Potter book and went to the salon to have a manicure and pedicure done. Reaching my feet is now out of the question. Anyway, I guess it’s been a long time since I’ve had my toes painted because Mary and Nathan were beside themselves when I got home.
Mary: Mama!!! You can change colors! (She is just flabbergasted by this- she wants to see my toes about ten times a day- and each time she is just amazed that they are colored)
Nathan: Mama! That’s beee-yooo-tiful!
4. Nathan is such a delicious boy- earlier he told me that he was dreaming about naps. He also frequently asks to hold hands- “Mama- will you hold my hand?” I know it won’t be long before he wouldn’t be caught dead holding my hand so I’m trying to enjoy it while I can.
Don’t Miss:
This post, over at Lisa Writes, on being a player not a spectator. Excellent.
Anyone else reading or finished with the new Harry Potter? I finished it Sunday morning- it was everything I hoped it would be. I wasn’t disappointed at all. Loose ends from previous books were tied up and explained and I was right in my prediction of Snape’s character. I won’t say more so as not to spoil it for anyone else who hasn’t finished it yet.
Read this fairly short post on strong willed children. Excellent. (ETA: Okay, I went back and looked at it and I guess t’s not that short but it is really worth the time to read it!)
As a former middle school teacher I saw many strong-willed children who had never learned to submit to authority. They were my most frustrating students and they were such unhappy children. Their parents did not enjoy them, their teachers were always frustrated with them, other kids were often aggravated by them. In many ways, I felt sorry for them even though they were in-your-face defiant. They had no idea how to operate in a world that does not revolve around what they want, no concept of the word “no”, an inablility to accept something that was contrary to their will with grace and contentment. My Dad is like this- an absolute control-freak who must have his way at all times. He’s one of the unhappiest people I know. I do *not* want this type of life for Mary or Nathan- and as Fairchilds they certainly have a will to control.
This is why it’s so important to us to teach Mary and Nathan obey. Controlling behaviors that are a little bit cute at 15 months old are annoying at three years old and downright antisocial by the time they are middle school age. We not only want for them to be happy, content, productive adults but we want for them to feel treasured by their parents. I know several children who routinely hear their parents complain about them and who feel as if they are their parents greatest annoyance in life. Their parents don’t enjoy spending time with them and the kids know it. How sad is that? You can’t expect the kids to train themselves- the parents have to help them in this area. I want to enjoy being with Mary and Nathan- not look at as a drudgery. I cringe when I hear a parent say that they couldn’t stand to be around their kids all day. What message is this sending to the child? The only way for Mary and Nathan to truly be happy is to be well-disciplined and that means obeying Mom and Dad. Without obedience it would be impossible for myself and others to enjoy them and I don’t want their childhood to be spent feeling like an annoyance- I want it to be one of being treasured and enjoyed by their parents and other adults who love them (grandparents, etc.)
Mary tends to be my more openly defiant, strong-willed, controlling child. It means that I can never, NEVER let her win a battle. If I tell her to put the drum on the second shelf and she cuts her eyes over at me and puts it on the third shelf, that’s defiant. She *knows* what I asked her to do and it’s her little way of defying what I told her to do. Almost complying with a directive is not complying- or delayed obedience is really disobedience. Sometimes people will comment to me that I don’t know what it’s really like to have a strong-willed child or that Mary certainly doesn’t appear to be strong-willed. That’s because we started working on this at a young age. She had her first temper fit at around six months old- she was flat out furious at having her diaper changed. Arching her back, screaming, etc. We did not allow it to continue. She went through a screaming phase at around 14 months old that we disciplined for until she submitted to “no screaming” directives from Mom and Dad. We did not wait until she was a full blown brat at three or four to start disciplining her- she knows that when Mama tells her to do something she better do it because Mama means business. It is the only thing that has saved her from being an absolute terror.
Disclaimer- Now, we certainly have not “arrived” and have a long way to go- I realized a few days ago that we need some serious work on “come to Mama”- they are not coming when called the first time which is disobedience. Nathan and Mary both have some table manners that need to be improved upon. We surely don’t have it all figured out yet. I can think of several issues in discipline/obedience that need to be worked on right now or in the near future. The point is that we recognize them and are going to work on them rather then throwing our hands up in the air and passing it off as a “phase” or being “strong-willed” or maybe they’ll “grow out of it”.
Do you have what it takes to become a US Citizen? Try taking this test and see if you pass. I scored 80%.
Judy has been moved to hospice with the goal of making her comfortable until she passes.
Read this great post over on Jazzy’s blog: Good Fruit
To tired to write more- will post an update on the kids soon.
No news really- Doctors continue to say that we should expect her to pass at any time. So we are living in a constant state of high alert- every day could be the last- and it is totally exhausting for all involved. Radiation treatments that were supposed to reduce the size of the mass on her neck have not worked. She continues to be very uncomfortable and is often agitated.
Are you living and parenting intentionally?
There’s been a discussion on my favorite parenting website lately about intention living/parenting. I thought I’d share the original post here as well as some of the follow up comments.
——————The Original Post———————————————————————————————–
It occurred to me yesterday that while I live with good intentions, our family most certainly just does NOT live intentionally. There are some things, and a precious few, that are intentional. The way we train our little children is intentional. We’ve thought that out, made conscious decisions that will affect the future in a positive way and it’s intentional. But there are so many of our areas that are unintentional.
For example.
Laundry.
Our laundry is one huge unintentional mess. I do 4-6 loads of laundry per day which is insane. At one time I was INTENTIONAL with our laundry. Our children wore uniforms on school days and had far fewer items of clothing, but those items stayed NICE and hung up. There was no wondering what to wear in the morning, far less laundry, and less stress. That was intentional. Now is the opposite.
Toys.
I used to be VERY intentional with our toy situation. We didn’t live by grandparents, so we only had to purge about once a year. I actually have a toybox now. Those things should be banned. We don’t actually PLAY with any of the toys in that toybox. It’s just dug through occasionally in order to make a mess. That is unintentional.
Dishes.
We used to own one plate for each member of our family. But we saw a great matching set at Goodwill one day. They are too big to fit correctly, they require a slant/slide/push to get them into place and the matching plates are too small to actually use for a meal. THAT is unintentional living.
Cloth Diapers
Do you know how much crap I’ve accumulated that I don’t use? That’s unintentional.
Homeschooling
I own two bookcases of books and more “floating” around the house than I care to think about. We use the SAME books over and over. Why? Because they are awesome. But, I own SEVERAL books that are completely useless. BTW, they are in like new condition. Do you know why? Because they are useless and taking up space. That is UNINTENtIONAL living.
All of these things take up space in my home. They take time to maintain.
We are always living for tomorrow…. We’ll go camping some weekend when there is more time. We’ll move to the country some time when we’ve fixed up the house. We’ll get a pony someday… yeah, when the kids are grown. I’m sure I’ll enjoy riding it when I’m sixty.
All of this is NOT said with a spirit of discontentedness. It’s said more as an evaluation. Why some day? Why do we waste our precious time on things that are silly? Why do I do 6 loads of laundry per day when that is a ridiculous waste of my time? I’d rather do two and spend time on a nature walk. Why pick up toys my children don’t play with when we could be in the backyard or the park? Why waste my time going to a homeschooling co-op every Monday for months so my kids can experience cool science stuff… Like I can’t accomplish science in the hour it takes me just to DRIVE to the co-op.
I would just urge you all to evaluate what things there are in your homes and lives that are useless. How can you change them to have purpose? How can you live now the way you know you want to live? Why do we feel bound by some things because they are social norms or are expected? How can you live more intentionally?
——–*Some* of the follow-up comments———————————————————
I think it’s really important to realize that the physical de-cluttering is really just a tangible way of something a little deeper. Throwing out 3/4 of the kids’ toys does not make me intentional. But, the realization that the toys are not tools to build up my end goals IS a step to being intentional.
We fill our lives, our homes, our heads with so much clutter that we can’t walk through the mess to the other side.
I need to declutter my home, my stuff, my schedule so that I can accomplish what God CAN do if I’ll just allow it. I need to strip away some of the “stuff” so I have time and energy and space to devote time to things God would have me do.
Living intentional is so much more than just simplifying my home and putting labels on things. It’s more than, “A place for everything and everything in it’s place.” It’s the acknowledgement that I’m not MINISTERING the way I should because I’m allowing other things to take that place.
If I can’t get up in the morning and start my day with reading the Bible, or just a simple prayer, then that really is a problem. What can I clear out so that I can focus my eyes on Him? What do I need to declutter? Maybe it isn’t a physical thing, maybe it’s an emotional thing.
If I’m getting frustrated with my kids because my house is always a mess and so I’m yelling or having a bad attitude, then I need to get rid of some STUFF so I can be patient and loving and teach them about having a happy heart.
If I’m angry at my husband because he’s home late and I have to prepare supper with two babies on my hip, then I need to change the way I run things. I need to declutter my schedule so I can do my meal prep. in the afternoon so I can be that loving wife that God needs me to be.
I am a walking, talking testimony of God’s grace and creation. I am letting the things and preoccupations of this world take up 90% of the space and time in my home. You only have 24 hours in the day. That’s it.
10 hours – sleeping
3 hours – meal prep / eating
4 hours – teaching / schoolwork
2 hours – errands, sports, whatever
1 hour – television
1 hour – laundry
1 hour – bathing / dressing
2 hours – cleaning
That’s it. 24 hours. We all make room for what we feel is important. If I have the right attitude, then school can be about God. If I’m humming happily, serving my family eagerly, all the while preparing a meal, THAT teaches my kids about God. But if you’re unable to be sweet and pleasant and take time from the science lesson to show how God created that flower uniquely, then there is a problem. This is when you need to take the steps to live intentionally. God doesn’t force us to choose Him. He allows us to fill our time with whatever we choose. We need to intentionally choose Him.
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WHOA! Guilt is a trip Satan takes us on. If it’s GUILT you’re feeling, I don’t think that’s from God. That’s what Satan uses to paralyze us and make us hate ourselves. We can feel a necessity to change things in our lives and realize things need to change, but generally there are two reasons for guilt that I can see. One, you completely know that something you are doing is flat out wrong and needs to change… therefore work on changing. The second is the little lie that Satan feeds us – you did *x* in your past, you won’t change, you can’t change, you’re worthless. We all know THAT’S wrong. And, Susannah, I think intentional isn’t about planning. It’s about getting things in order so you get more joy out of life.
Training your kids is intentional, but it can be done anywhere or anytime. You have given thought to how will act and react. Intentionally clearing clutter out of your house so it’s (fairly) easy to pick you up frees you for those spontaneous and dreaded “drive-by” stops that friends make without calling. (We’re actually scared of those in our house, lol.) I think having a menu frees you, because you know when dh comes home there will be a meal or if he chooses to go out on the town then WAHOO you don’t have to cook tomorrow. My dh gets bored on weekends. It would be nothing for him to say, “Everybody get your shoes on we’re going roadtripping.” And we may go 15 minutes away or 2 hours away on a complete whim. Living intentionally (doing my laundry on Fridays so the weekend is free, having shoes in closets, cleaning out my van on Fridays so the mess doesn’t stress dh out, etc.) actually FREES me to be spontaneous. And even enjoy those spontaneous moments MORE because I’m not freaking out because he’s going to see the van or because the kids don’t have a clean shirt to wear to who knows where?! By intentional I do not mean a moment by moment schedule. I mean look at what causes discontentment in your life… really evaluate. A lot of this mode is really routed in two things I’ve learned.
The first I learned from Terri Maxwell. There are things that steal our meek and quiet spirit… the SPIRIT, not my loud mouth. 
They steal our peacefulness and our joy. Instead of living with those things and just accepting them as part and parcel of life, we need to seek ways to change them so that we don’t allow them to be a source of sin (discontentment) in our lives. Susannah, for you, you may have had to get RID of the schedule that would be helpful to other people because it is a tool that would make you discontent with your husband and his personality. It’s INTENTIONALLY looking at the schedule posted on your fridge and saying, “Look this is really great for some Moms. But my dh isn’t wired this way. It doesn’t bring him peace and it steals my joy.” I’m just going to make sure x, y, and z are done every day by 2 PM when he gets home from work so that I’m free to be at his whims.” That is INTENTIONALLY choosing to be YOUR husband’s helpmeet.
The second was long ago from Elizabeth. We were talking about anger and I just really felt convicted to change but wasn’t. I have “tantrums” and their ugly little things where I get mad and throw a fit, yelling and just generally having an ugly attitude. They’ve gotten better over time (thank you God) but I just couldn’t understand why God wasn’t lifting this burden off of me. I mean, after all, if it was wrong and I was praying about it, shouldn’t He have just taken this ability to be angry away from me? It sounded very reasonable to me! But, as Elizabeth had pointed out in a long ago post, God had already CONVICTED me it was a sin. So why was I waiting for Him to do take it from me? Why wasn’t I choosing not to ACT on my emotions? If I was in a store and a little person made me angry would I throw a fit? No. So why did I allow myself to do it in private? I won’t say I have it completely under control because the stress with Rebecca in February and March proved that I don’t. I will say it is better. Just as some men struggle with p**n, I think I will struggle with anger all my life. But it is something that can be controlled and I have to take actions to help myself control it. It isn’t something that God just takes away. But an interesting article I read once said that we need to recognize there is a step just before sin. That step is JUSTIFICATION. If you find yourself justifying why you are allowing yourself to do something, you can bet the next step is a sin. So, if you’re sitting on the couch, justifying why you get to continue sitting on the couch, when you know you should be doing something else, then you must force yourself to do the right thing. Put on clothes, shoes, pull your hair back and make a list. For a long while I was justifying all my time on the internet, the truth was, I was just flat out addicted. I had to cancel internet and pull away to be able to get back on track. I had to put steps in motion so that I could stop because I just didn’t have the self-control to go cold turkey. 
I am better now (not evidenced by the # of posts on the last two days, lol) but I am more aware of the weakness and tendency. That helps me be on guard and not excuse the behaviour!
On the sleep issue… No I don’t get much sleep. I inherited my mom’s general tendency to not be ABLE to sleep much. It is actually unfortunate that I am both a night owl and an early riser. I generally don’t go to bed ’til about 11PM or so and generally am back up around 5 AM with dh. I am trying to get to bed earlier, like when he goes to bed, but I don’t fall asleep easily then. If I go to bed late, I just pass right out. When I’m pregnant I take naps… nice long 2-3 hour naps right in the middle of the day. I like naps! But I don’t accomplish much. That’s generally the time I soap or read or do homeschool research, or whatnot.
Judy continues to go downhill. She is having a trach put in today and after this will not be able to talk. The doctors came in yesterday and said that even though she has made it this far we should still expect her to pass at any time. Could be 3 hours from now or a week from now. No way to know. My Mom is coming for a visit this afternoon and will be staying the night- it will be nice to have the company while Kip is gone.
Thanks for thinking of us- I’ll try to update again soon.
